I am sure most of us have heard “You are the average of five people you spend the most time with”.

It has been directionally correct in my experience.

While reading a book recently, I came across an interesting line -

“There’s an economic theory out there that if you take the incomes of your five closest friends and average them, the resulting number will be pretty close to your own income.”

I checked with me, and a few friends. This is directionally correct as well.

This is a huge revelation!

This means that we have multiple levers to influence the amount of money we make!

  • Earn more. Been true always, nothing new here.
  • Help your closest friends earn more. In the long run, you will also make more.
  • Change the people you spend time with. Spend more time with people who make more money, you will see yourself making choices that will nudge you towards higher income.

Another way to look at it is, you are the average of five people, in a lot of metrics, not just income.

Average discipline of 5 people you spend time with.

Average ambition of 5 people you spend time with.

Average weight of 5 people you spend time with.

Average muscle mass, screen time, athleticism, wittiness, vocabulary, curiosity.

You get the idea. Anything where the input is in control, and changing that changes the output, you can use any of the above levers to change the inputs.

Why does it work though?

IDK. I tried to think, and came up with a few reasons why it might be. But I am not exactly sure.

  • Mimetic Desire - You want to do the same things your tribe wants to do.
  • Accountability - Your tribe keeps you accountable, with social pressure for doing something everyone else is doing.
  • Motivation - You want to fit in your tribe. You will want to take part in common activities of your tribe.
  • Competition - You want to compete with people in your tribe, because that’s what humans love to do. You try to get better to compete better.
  • Sharing secrets - You get some cheat codes to your activity because your tribe shares it with you.

It feels great to know that I can take charge of my situation, and change it for the better. You will lose touch with a few people to make space for new people.

I guess that is growth?

Some people suggest that spending time need not be physically. You can spend time with friends, you can spend time with educators by letting them teach you, you can spend time with authors by reading their books.

I am not sure how much this can affect you, but reading a book made me write this whole thing, so it seems to work at least a bit!